Do you ever wish your boyfriend wanted to spend as much time with you as you do with him? It’s common to crave more quality time together in a relationship.
You want to spend endless days chatting, laughing, and making memories. It can hurt when your partner’s idea of how much time to spend together doesn’t match yours.
Try simple tricks to get him eager for more date nights, calls, and snuggles. You can build a bond filled with laughter and joy with better communication and insight into his world.
This article explores why your boyfriend may not spend as much with you as you’d like. It also gives tips for getting him to want to hang out more often. The time together matters, so read on to understand where he’s coming from.
11 Reasons Your Boyfriend Doesn’t Spend As Much Time With You
As hurtful as it feels when your partner doesn’t spend enough time with you, there may be some simple explanations.
Read on to understand common reasons guys spend less time together and tips to get your man to commit to more dates.
1. He Takes You for Granted
When you’ve been together for a while, it can be easy for your boyfriend to take you and your relationship for granted. He might assume you’ll always be there, no matter how little effort he puts in.
Have an open and honest chat about how much quality time you want together and what that looks like.
If he knows it’s important to you but doesn’t change, you deserve someone who willingly makes time to see you.
2. He Might Be Cheating
If he can’t spend much time with you, have a caring talk to understand his perspective and situation. Before jumping to conclusions, have an open talk.
Share that you’ve noticed his disinterest lately in small things like texts or calls. If he shuts down or gets very defensive, it may confirm suspicions. You deserve honesty and someone fully invested in your relationship.
3. You Come Across as Too Desperate
Sometimes, it’s easy in relationships to come on too strong in your eagerness to make it work. Your boyfriend might misread your desire to spend lots of quality time together as desperation or neediness.
Have an open chat about what you both want regarding time commitment. Pull back a bit if needed and focus on your interests for a while. Working on confidence in yourself can make you more attractive to your partner.
4. He Has Other Priorities
Your boyfriend may not spend much time with you because he has much on his plate. Maybe he’s dealing with work stress or family issues that demand his time and mental energy. Have an open and empathetic talk – ask how he’s doing in general and if everything is ok.
Share that while you understand he’s busy, you miss him and want to spend more time together. With good communication, you can find ways to balance your priorities with your needs.
Spending time together is hard when you and your boyfriend have opposite interests or hobbies. While you love hiking, he might rather hang out at the beach. Or maybe you’re into books, but he’s all about sports.
Try taking turns picking date activities – do something you enjoy every other time you meet up. Also, keep an open mind and be willing to participate in activities your partner likes. Getting out of your comfort zone could help you discover new passions!
With some compromise and effort to spend quality time doing things you both like, your different interests don’t have to be a roadblock.
5. He Needs a Relationship Break
If you’ve been dating long, your boyfriend might need some space from the relationship. This doesn’t necessarily mean he wants to break up.
Have an open and thoughtful talk – ask if everything is okay or if he has something he wants to share. Make it clear you understand each other’s needs and that you’re willing to give him breathing room if that’s what he requires right now.
Offer to scale back on texts/calls but set up a timeline to make space and reconnect in person after a certain period. Taking a deliberate break can strengthen bonds. Just be sure communication remains open on both ends.
6. He Doesn’t Want to Ignore His Friends
It’s admirable if your boyfriend takes friendships seriously and makes time to see them often. But he should also be willing to spend time with you, his girlfriend!
Have an open, non-confrontational chat about how all his friend outings make you miss one-on-one quality time as a couple. See if you can reach a compromise, like at least two dates per week that are just for the two of you.
If you get along with his friend group, see if you can tag along on some of their adventures. Strong bonds with friends outside the relationship are outstanding, but you deserve meaningful time together.
7. He’s Trying to Save Money
Dates and gifts can get expensive quickly, so if your boyfriend is trying to be frugal, it could explain why he doesn’t spend much time with you.
Have an open and understanding chat about money issues – see if you can come up with more budget-friendly activities, alternate who pays for dates, or split all costs moving forward.
Get creative and make your at-home time together particular, too, with cute picnic blanket dinners, movie marathons, game nights, or stargazing if budget is the concern.
You can still have a fantastic relationship while being money-conscious with good communication!
8. You Don’t Let Him Get Intimate With You
Physical intimacy is essential for many couples to connect and spend quality time together. If you’ve been putting boundaries on getting too intimate with your boyfriend, it could explain why he doesn’t seem eager to hang out.
Have an open and honest discussion about both your needs and comfort levels around physical closeness. If you both want to get more intimate, discuss moving things slowly in a way you both feel good about. Getting on the same page can help. It’s important to keep that intimacy flourishing.
9. You Remind Him Of His Ex
It’s awkward if you remind your guy of an ex he can’t quite get over yet. Sudden distance from your partner could signal you cause painful flashbacks without realizing it.
It’s important to find out more with a caring chat before jumping to conclusions – ask if you said or did anything that hit a nerve about his past relationships. Offer to listen without judgment.
If the issue is stirring up old memories, showing empathy while setting new relationship habits together can help ensure history doesn’t keep repeating itself.
10. He Doesn’t Want To Seem Too Clingy
Some people worry a lot about coming across as too clingy or desperate early on in a relationship. If your boyfriend hesitates to spend time, he’s trying hard not to appear “too available.” Reassure him a bit – you enjoy the time together and don’t think asking for more is being clingy at all.
Keep showing enthusiasm about him through genuine compliments, praise, or small tokens of affection. As trust builds, he’ll likely need to make more effort to see you without worrying about seeming clingy.
11. He Gets Bored When With You
It hurts to think your boyfriend could get bored when you spend time together. But it is possible that you both find fun if you don’t connect on meaningful topics or share activities.
Don’t panic or never want to see him again out of hurt. Instead, focus on self-improvement – pick up new hobbies, read interesting books, and talk more profoundly with friends to bring more substance to your views.
When you feel more secure and well-rounded, plan new quality dates he can look forward to. If you put the effort into spending time connecting in fresh ways, he likely won’t feel bored anymore. And if he still does, you don’t feel dependent on him for your happiness.
How to Get Him to Spend More Time With You
Now that you know some possible reasons your guy doesn’t spend his time as you do as a couple. What can be done to get him to commit to more time together?
Understanding your boyfriend’s love language and finding activities you enjoy can help you find a balance where you both feel happy with the amount of time with your boyfriend.
Communicate Clearly and Directly
Open and honest communication is vital to any strong relationship. If you want more time, say that clearly and directly to avoid misunderstandings.
Discuss different expectations for how much in a healthy relationship. Compromise if needed to get on the same page. Checking in regularly ensures you continue meeting needs.
Get to Know His Friend Group
When your guy spends more time with friends than you, it can also help you get to know them. Ask to tag along on friend outings to see what they’re like and if you all vibe.
If you become part of the group, you’ll automatically spend time together more often. And when you befriend each other’s inner circles, it brings you closer as a couple.
Prioritize His Likes and Dislikes Sometimes
In relationships, it’s important to remember to balance activities you both enjoy. Take turns choosing date ideas or places to hang out. Pay attention to things your partner likes that you’re neutral about – try to do some together.
Compromising to try new things your boyfriend wants sometimes makes him feel valued. It always feels more fun when both people’s preferences get equal priority.
Plan Fun Date Ideas Together
Planning exciting date ideas or adventures together builds anticipation for the time you’ll spend together. Brainstorm outings you both can’t wait for, like concerts, seasonal festivals, hiking trails, or patio dinners. Splurge on a couples’ cooking class and go wine tasting.
The options are endless for creating memories while enjoying your time together. Taking the initiative to map out these quality dates shows him you want to invest time in nurturing your bond.
Work on Bettering Yourself
The best way to get a partner eager to spend more time with you is to be an incredible, well-rounded person. Pick exciting new hobbies that make you happy, so you’re not overly dependent on your boyfriend for fulfillment.
Read books, take classes, and go on solo adventures near home. Developing your interests gives you fresh things to chat about and share. It also adds an aura of independence many people find attractive in a partner.
Take a Class Together
Enrolling together in something new – a dance course, cooking lessons, martial arts, art class – ensures built-in time should couples spend together each week.
Trying new things as a couple builds intimacy since you both step outside your comfort zone. And having a shared interest means you’ll get your boyfriend to spend more time chatting about something you’re mutually enthusiastic about.
Meet Briefly After Work for Coffee
It can be challenging for busy couples to sync schedules. If evenings or weekends are jammed, meet for a quick weeknight coffee date after work instead.
Even just 20-30 minutes face-to-face to decompress and reconnect can satisfy needs. Brief check-ins reinforce you’re both making an effort.
Become Intimate if You Both Want To
For many couples, physical intimacy can be an essential part of feeling close and bonded. If you’re both interested in becoming intimate but shy, have an open and caring talk first.
Ensure you’re on the same page about expectations and ready for that next step. Move slowly into increasing intimacy at a pace you both feel good about.
Deepening physical connections often leads couples to want to spend more quality time strengthening their emotional relationship, too.
Plan a Weekend Getaway
What better way to ensure uninterrupted time together than planning a weekend escape just the two of you? Get out of your routine and daily distractions for a couple of days.
Explore a new place neither of you has been to before. Sharing new adventures is bonding. Soak up the chance to talk, cuddle, and focus entirely on each other. Use the built-in time to reconnect emotionally and physically without outside interruptions.
Take Interest In His Hobbies
When your boyfriend is really into sports, video games, or playing guitar, it means a lot to him when you try to take an interest, too. Ask him to teach you the basics or tell you more about what he loves about it.
Then, make suggestions for getting involved – maybe go to a game, ask him to perform songs he’s written, or challenge him to teach you to play his favorite game.
Showing genuine curiosity and engagement in things he already likes to spend time doing is hugely endearing.
Go Shopping Together and Take Couple-y Pics
Shopping together for fun outfits you can match is a cute way to bond. Having a partner in the dressing room to give feedback as you try different looks makes shopping less tedious.
Snap some stylish couple selfies in your coordinated outfits together afterward. The bonus? When you upload the photos tagged with each other, everyone will see symbols of your paired bliss all over social media.
Send Him Flirty Pictures
Exchange flirty and spicy pics when you’re apart to build anticipation for the next time you’ll be together. Sexting and sharing intimate photos reinforces physical attraction and chemistry outside of physical proximity.
Use messaging to tease and compliment each other too. Keeping your emotional connection alive from afar makes reuniting for real that much sweeter.
Playful conversations sprinkled with praise helps your relationship feel fun and mutually uplifting.
Final Thoughts
The key is open communication to ensure enough time with your partner according to your needs. Compromise if expectations differ.
It’s important to recognize that no one can read minds – you must kindly express what would help you feel happy and connected. If he can’t spend much time with you, have a caring talk to understand his perspective and situation.
Then, try tips like planning dates for classes together or showing interest in hobbies to get him comfortable spending more time you spend with you. Meeting needs takes effort, but making the relationship feel fulfilling to both is worth it.
