Have you ever felt tempted to kiss your best friend? It’s a complicated situation. On the one hand, you don’t want to mess up your friendship. But on the other, you want to kiss them!
Before you move, let’s discuss some of the tricky stuff. A kiss between friends can have many meanings. It might be completely platonic—just a sign of affection- or it could lead to romantic feelings between you.
There’s a big difference between a quick kiss on the cheek and full-on lip kissing. Where you choose to kiss makes a statement. A kiss on the mouth usually means romantic interest.
You never want to assume your best friend wants to kiss you, even if you feel ready. Consent is so important, especially with best friends. The last thing you want is to make them uncomfortable or cross their boundaries.
Make sure you think through why you want to kiss them. Do you have a secret crush? Or are you just curious to see what it would be like?
Examine your motivations so you’ll be prepared for how a kiss could impact your relationship with your friend.
Reasons Best Friends Might Kiss
There are many understandable reasons why best friends sometimes end up kissing. In the heat of specific moments, we may act on our feelings without thinking through the consequences.
Physical affection can be used to express affection between close friends in different ways that vary from person to person.
Some examples include getting caught up and feeling grow stronger in an emotional moment or engaging in casual physical contact as a means of experimentation or fun between trusting companions.
Let’s explore some of the common ways it happens.
1. Caught Up In The Moment
Sometimes, friends kiss when they get caught up in a moment. Or if one of you is upset and needs consoling, you could kiss on the lips while comforting each other. Strong emotions can cloud your judgment in the moment.
For example, let’s say your best friend finally got asked out by their crush. When they tell you the news, you might instinctively give them a big lip kiss to show your happiness. While grieving together, a platonic kiss could happen without you even realizing it.
Getting swept up in the heat of the moment is understandable. But before you kiss, consider how it could impact your friendship after the excitement fades. Platonic lip kissing between best friends is hard to take back.
If you do end up kissing, talk about it after. Make sure you both understand it was just because emotions were running high. This can help get your relationship back to normal and still be friends.
2. Romantic Feelings Develop
It’s common for best friends to start having romantic feelings for each other. Those feelings can sprout when you spend so much time together and know each other well.
Maybe you’ve started seeing your best friend in a different light. They make you laugh like no one else does. You feel a spark every time you touch. When you talk, the hours seem to fly by.
Or perhaps you’ve always had a little secret crush on them. As your friendship has deepened over the years, so have your feelings. It’s an awkward position to be in.
Before making any moves, consider whether you’re willing to risk your good relationship with your pal. Try asking subtle questions to understand whether they like you back. Pay attention to any extra flirty behavior on their part.
Cherish the friendship first and foremost, but sometimes, you must follow your heart. Make sure they feel comfortable before attempting a hug or lip kiss. Open communication is vital for platonic affection.
3. Alcohol/Party Games
Party games like Spin the Bottle or Truth or Dare often result in best friends kissing. The random element takes the pressure off making a gesture, and alcohol gives you extra courage.
After a few drinks, everyone starts playing Spin the Bottle. When it lands on your best friend, you must kiss them while the room cheers you on.
Or during a sleepover Truth or Dare game, someone dares you to hug the person to your left – who happens to be your best friend. Caught up in the fun and competitiveness, you quickly kiss them.
Kissing your best friend during these games can feel exciting and help you bond. But afterward, things may turn awkward. Make sure you talk about it and agree it didn’t have to mean anything romantic.
The next time a game prompts you two to kiss, check in first. Say something like, “This is just for fun, right? We’re good?” Getting on the same page will save you confusion. Try to flirt just before attempting to kiss your friend.
4. As A Joke Or Dare
Sometimes, best friends kiss each other as a joke or a dare. You might do it to embarrass each other in front of your classmates.
Kissing as a joke often happens spontaneously. Like when you’re walking down the school hallway together. Your best friend might suddenly lip-kiss you on the cheek and then laugh at your shocked reaction.
Or, during a sleepover, they might dare you to give them a quick platonic peck on the lips. You both end up collapsing into giggles afterward.
Joke kissing with your best friend can seem harmless and silly. But ensure you’re both okay with it and on the same page. Don’t let it become a habit if one of you starts feeling awkward.
Afterward, check in with them and clarify that it didn’t mean anything romantic. Laugh it off as just being goofy best friends. As long as you communicate openly, it doesn’t have to cross any lines. There is no shame in friends deciding and agreeing on what suits their relationship. But always ask before attempting to hug or kiss your friend.
5. To Experiment
As a teen, you may feel tempted to experiment with kissing your best friend of the opposite gender. You’re curious about what it’s like but aren’t ready for a real relationship. Since you already trust each other, your best friend seems like a safe option.
Or maybe you think you might be gay or bisexual but aren’t sure. Kissing your same-sex best friend could help you figure out your sexual orientation.
Before you experiment, though, you need to have an honest discussion. Make sure you both want to kiss just out of curiosity and don’t have secret feelings. Don’t let it continue if one of you catches real feelings.
For example, you could say, “Want just to kiss once to see what it’s like? This wouldn’t mean we’re more than special friends, though.” As long as you’re both experimenting and staying open, it doesn’t have to get too complicated.
Kissing a best friend to satisfy your curiosity isn’t inherently wrong. But tread carefully and put your friendship first. Don’t let experimenting lead to heartbreak for either of you. Platonic affection should only happen if you both feel comfortable.
Things to Consider Before Kissing Your Best Friend
Kissing a best pal is complicated. Before making any move, you need to think through these key considerations. What may feel customary to you could cross boundaries for your friend, as platonic affection varies widely from friend group to friend group.
Also, you should never make assumptions or impose your traditions on others, as that could be seen as inappropriate and a violation of personal space.
Cultural norms around physical intimacy can differ significantly from culture to culture. Therefore, understand and respect your friend’s background rather than assume you share the same level of comfort with personal space.
Your Friendship – Don’t Risk It Just For A Kiss
In the case that you’ve likely known your friend for years and been through so much together. Is a kiss worth sacrificing that special bond?
Your friendship should come first. Don’t let a fleeting desire for romance or experimentation damage something irreplaceable. Not every best friendship can survive the transition into a relationship.
For example, confessing romantic feelings could make your best friend feel pressured. It can irreversibly change the friendship, even if they don’t feel the same way. They may start to feel uncomfortable around you.
Likewise, a make-out session “just for fun” can cause awkwardness. At the moment, it seems harmless. But afterward, the damage may already be done.
Weigh carefully whether you’re willing to take that risk. If not, keep things platonic. Cherish the unique connection you already have. Only a little short kiss may happen because we are emotional, which would be very normal between close friends.
Their Consent – Make Sure They Want To Be Kissed
Before kissing your best friend, you need their consent and agreement. Never assume your best friend is okay with being kissed just because of your friendship.
Have an honest conversation before making any moves. You could say, “I’ve been tempted to kiss you. How would you feel about that?” Open communication is key.
Pay attention to cues they might want you to kiss them, like flirty touching or eye contact. But look for definitive signs of consent first. Mixed signals can be confusing, so play it safe by talking it out.
If they jokingly say, “Ew, no way!” or seem uncomfortable, drop the idea altogether. Respecting their boundaries proves how much you value your special bond.
Your Motives – Are You Just Looking To Hook Up, Or Do You Have Deeper Feelings?
Are you attracted to your friend and want to start a relationship, or are you just looking for a no-strings-attached hookup? If the latter, be prepared for things to get awkward if they don’t feel the same way.
If you want casual physical fun, that could permanently damage your friendship. After a fleeting hookup, your best friend may feel used. Tread carefully.
For example, you have a secret crush on your best friend. Kissing them would mean opening up emotionally. But if it’s only physical attraction, you may hurt them.
Instead of just going with the moment, examine your true feelings for one another before making a move. How you handle the kiss afterward depends on what you want. Communicate openly so you’re both on the same page.
Their Gender/Sexuality – Will A Same-Sex Kiss Affect Your Friendship?
If you want to kiss a best friend of the same sex, you need to consider how it could impact your friendship. Questioning your sexuality can be confusing. Turning to your best friend seems logical.
However, experimenting with a same-sex kiss could jeopardize your bond. It may work out fine. Or your friend could get uncomfortable and pull away from the friendship.
Before kissing, have an open talk. If you’re unsure of your sexuality, explain that to them. If your friend is straight, they may gently decline to avoid leading you on. That’s the ideal outcome.
However, some besties are willing to experiment together as friends. As long as you both establish ground rules, a same-sex kiss doesn’t have to ruin your platonic relationship. Just communicate every step of the way.
Their Cultural Background – How Do They Feel About Platonic Kisses?
Cultural background plays a significant role in how platonic physical affection is viewed. For example, quick cheek kisses are standard greetings in many European countries, but your friend from a less physically affectionate culture may get uncomfortable with them.
Or consider a best friend who practices a conservative religion. Kissing before marriage may go against their beliefs. Make sure you understand and respect where they’re coming from.
Before you kiss, subtly ask about their views. You could say, “How do you feel about friends kissing platonically?” Don’t assume you have the same cultural norms.
If your best friend’s culture frowns on casual kissing, find other ways to show affection. Respecting their boundaries will only strengthen your bond.
Their Relationship Status – Are They Already With Someone Else?
Before making any move, consider your friends’ relationship status. Their partner probably won’t be okay with you two kissing, even platonically. And if your best friend cheats on you, can you trust them?
Plus, getting romantically involved with someone who’s taken usually ends painfully. Imagine if the tables were turned.
Wait until they are single again before exploring anything romantic. Protecting the friendship should be your priority.
When You Should Not Kiss Your Best Friend
Kissing a best friend is a delicate situation that requires careful consideration. It’s crucial to think about the potential consequences before taking any action.
There could be a risk of damaging the friendship, creating awkwardness, or even causing hurt feelings.
Friends deciding and agreeing on what is right for them is a common thing, and there is nothing wrong with that.
When They Are Asleep Or Intoxicated
You should never kiss your best friend when they are not able to consent consciously. If they are asleep or passed out drunk, do not attempt to kiss them.
Kissing someone unconscious is unethical and wrong. Even if you think your best friend would be okay with it, you have no way to know for sure.
For example, if your friend falls asleep on your shoulder during a movie night, do not kiss them. Or if they get drunk at a party, don’t use it as a chance to sneak in a kiss. Wait until they are awake and sober to ask.
Taking advantage of your best friend when they are in an impaired state is a significant violation of consent and trust. It could permanently damage your friendship. Respect their autonomy by waiting until they can say yes or no.
It’s never okay to kiss someone without their explicit consent. Make sure your friend can consciously agree before making any move.
If You Are Already In A Relationship
Being faithful is crucial when you are in a relationship. Kissing your best friend, even if you see it as spiritual, would probably be considered cheating.
Put yourself in your partner’s shoes. How would you feel if they kissed someone else, friend or not? You’d likely feel betrayed and lose trust.
Before making a move, you need to have an open, honest talk with your partner or break up with them. Juggling multiple relationships behind their back is wrong.
If You Know They Aren’t Interested Romantically
You should avoid kissing your best friend if you already know they aren’t romantically interested. Ignoring their lack of feelings and forcing intimacy will only push them away.
Pay attention to any signs your best friend sees you as a friend, like talking about their crushes or dating other people. Don’t let wishful thinking cloud your judgment.
Or maybe you already asked them out and got rejected. Continuing to make moves on them despite the rejection is disrespectful. Take the hint and move on.
For example, if your best friend says, “I love you like a sibling, not a boyfriend/girlfriend,” accept that. Don’t let your emotions sabotage the unique spiritual bond you have.
If It Would Jeopardize Your Friendship
Every situation is different, so be honest with yourself. Think through all the potential consequences, both good and bad. If there’s a real risk of wrecking what you have, it’s better not to cross that line. Your long-term friendship is so valuable.
Talk openly with your best friend before acting on any urges or feelings. They know you better than anyone, and their insight is key.
If what you have is genuine and lasting in your friend zone, it’s just not worth gambling that away for a kiss. Friends do many things to show care, but there are some bells you can’t unring.
Final Thoughts
Kissing your best friend can get complicated. There are many ways to show affection in a friendship without crossing lines.
Kissing always has some meaning – is it just friendly, or something more? Before you make any moves, consider how it could impact your platonic bond. The healthiest relationships come when people communicate openly and honestly about their wants and boundaries.
Value your friendship above all else. If a kiss could jeopardize this connection, it’s not worth the risk. There are other ways to express care and affection without potentially damaging what you already have. A true friendship is worth protecting.
