Talk about an ouch-worthy moment. You scroll through your social feed one night and suddenly realize your ex unfollowed you. It’s been months since you even thought about them. So why does this sting so bad?
The truth is, unfollowing or unfriending happens months later for all reasons. None of them have to do with you not being good enough or the relationship ending poorly.
Here, we’ll walk through the 6 most common reasons an ex still followed you and then abruptly stopped months after the breakup dust settled.
We’ll also cover some healthy ways to process the emotions when an ex unfollows. While the sting bites bad now, soon you’ll breathe easy again. Onward!
Why Your Ex May Unfollow Months Later
1. They Still Have Feelings and Find it Too Painful Seeing Your Posts
It’s been months of no contact with your ex. Then, suddenly, they unfollowed you on Instagram stories just a week ago. Ouch! that stings.
When an ex unfollows you months after a breakup, it often means they still miss you. Seeing your posts likely brings up old feelings they need to move past.
There’s no way for them to get back together if they can’t let go first. We know it’s hard, but your ex probably unfollowed because they still like you more than friends on social media.
Give them space and time to heal. Reasons your ex may unfollow months later often point to them still having feelings.
2. They Want You to Reach Out to Them First
People deal with breakups in unexpected ways sometimes. After months of no contact since the breakup, suddenly, not seeing your posts could trigger a reaction.
It seems counterintuitive, but they likely want you to notice and reach out to them first. If you’re ready to try contacting your ex again, an unfollow month after a breakup may signal they want you to make the first move.
3. They feel embarrassed about the past relationship
Seeing an ex’s posts after a breakup can bring back memories, good and bad. If much time has passed since things ended between you and your ex, they may feel embarrassed about the past relationship. Nobody wants constant reminders of mistakes or things they regret.
When people feel hurt and angry about the past, cutting ties on social media can help them maintain distance. Reasons your ex may unfollow out of the blue likely involve them wanting to say things ended poorly.
4. They want to maintain distance and move on
When an ex unfollows you after a long period of keeping in touch post-split, it often signals they are ready to move on for good.
Seeing someone’s posts on social media makes it harder to move on sometimes, even if you want to get back together eventually.
It doesn’t mean they feel bitter after the breakup. More than keeping you in their feed stops them from having space to heal.
5. They worry about judgment from others
Seeing you dating a new person can make an ex feel judged, even if the breakup happened long ago.
They probably unfollowed you because they don’t want to know what you’re doing. It stops them from dwelling on the past. Chances are they want distance.
6. They Found Someone New
When an ex unfollows you months after a seemingly mutual breakup, it can signal they found someone new.
Even if you still like your ex as a friend, they may want to keep their social media feeds focused on their potential new relationship. They probably want to initiate a move on from the past ultimately.
What to Do When An Ex Unfollows Months Later
Don’t Panic or Make Assumptions
Try not to read too much into an ex unfriending you months after a breakup. It’s easy to assume they want to hurt you, but there are always other reasons exes on social media unfollow post-split. Your relationship status no longer ties them to your profiles.
Maybe a severe relationship made them bear to look back. Or perhaps you didn’t post anything relevant lately to leave a big enough impact to follow. Whatever the reasons, an unfriend months later seldom relates to you.
Be Gentle With Yourself
Getting unfollowed by an ex long after a breakup can sting, even if you’ve made peace with your relationship status. Be gentle with yourself as you process the emotions. Consider carefully if reconnecting with your ex would genuinely help you heal.
Instead of assumptions, focus on personal growth. Let your ex’s social media choices be theirs alone to make. It would help if you concentrate on nurturing only yourself right now.
Carefully Consider if Reconnecting Would Help
First, consider your motivations carefully. Understand why reconnecting with an ex who unfriended you seems appealing. If you want closure or still harboring hurt, meeting up again could simply reopen healing wounds.
However, reach out if enough time has passed and you feel genuinely ready to reconnect as friends. Just be honest in assessing if contact would help or harm.
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Stop Checking Up on Them Online
You were unfriended online by an ex months after you wanted to be friends post-breakup, which hurts. When your ex deletes you from social media long after a serious relationship ends, try not to take it personally.
Even if you post meaningful things, an ex who unfollows likely finds even excellent posts don’t have enough relevance anymore. Stop checking their profiles. Allow your focus to stay on your growth.
Focus on Your Own Growth and Healing
What should you do when an ex unfriends months after first wanting to keep things cordial? Use it as motivation to nurture your needs. Spend time on hobbies unrelated to your ex and work toward personal goals.
Follow accounts that inspire and uplift you. Surround yourself with people who make you feel good. An ex who stopped following you made the best choice for them right now. So, make healthy choices for yourself and keep the focus inward.
Final Thoughts
When an ex unfollows you on social media months later, try not to view it as them harshly and intentionally hurting you. More often, seeing your profile and pictures of good times proves too complicated for an ex still healing. Or they feel a need to focus their energies elsewhere.
Whatever the reason, an ex who didn’t unfollow right away probably didn’t make the choice lightly. Chances are your ex broke things off respectfully but finds distance easier for now.
Getting unfollowed stings, but avoids reading malice into their actions. Instead, nurture your growth and let former followers do what they must to heal.
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