Have you ever regretted splitting up with an ex and wanted a second chance? Trying to rekindle an old flame can be scary, but it starts with having the right conversations. If you want your ex back, there are certain thoughtful things you can say to plant the seed.
This article will give you tips for texting or talking to your ex in a friendly way after a breakup. The goal is to help them remember the good times you shared, make them feel special again, and open the door to reconnecting.
There’s no guarantee you’ll get them back right away. But your kind words could stick in their mind if you approach interactions with compassion instead of anger after a breakup.
The key is patience and knowing the right things to say. The article will also give you 39 great ideas for messages to send your ex if you want to get back together. First, let’s talk about why reuniting with an ex might be on your mind in the first place. Let’s read on.
Why You Might Want Your Ex Back
Address common reasons for breakups
There are many common reasons relationships end: growing apart, losing the spark, trust issues, different priorities, poor communication, etc. Often, breakups happen gradually over time or result from built-up resentment. But even if you saw it coming, you can still feel regretful later and miss your ex a lot.
The thing about breakups is that our brains tend to romanticize the good stuff after the fact. You might selectively remember all the sweet things your ex did while forgetting issues simmering under the surface. Getting back with an ex seems appealing even when problems exist; you focus more on the good memories and your longing to reunite.
Discuss feeling regret, missing your ex
When you start to miss your ex and replay fond memories in your mind, it’s normal to feel pangs of regret and sadness. Your self-talk turns to “maybe I made a mistake,” “life was better together,” or “I’ll never find that connection again with someone else.” Feeling regret after a back with your ex is normal, even if splitting up was the right decision.
Your task then becomes figuring out if getting back together could work or will lead to another painful breakup. How do you shift from missing them to reality-testing a reunion? That’s often when strategic texting to get another chance comes into play. Safe, sweet little texts to make them miss you or feel good again can open the door to communicating since the breakup.
For the texts to get him back, stay positive and focus on the good words, memories, and connections you used to have. You want to spark intrigue, not conflict. In time, those short, sweet messages might break your ex’s heart wide back open to give me another chance.
Should You Try to Get Your Ex Back?
Consider if getting back together is healthy
Before rushing into reconciliation, you must objectively assess whether getting back with your ex is healthy. Think it through: Why did you break up? Have those issues go away, or will you end up hurt again?
Be very wary about getting back if your ex was abusive, controlling, dishonest, etc. The grief of a lost relationship can cloud judgment. Make sure reuniting would indeed be safe and positive.
Also, consider whether your ex has moved on with another woman or is over the relationship. That reality check helps ensure you’re emotionally ready for potential rejection.
You don’t want to lay your heart bare saying sorry only to have it break your heart all over again. Be realistic about your prospects before reaching out.
Discuss being emotionally ready
You must feel ready before contacting an ex to make your case for a rebuilding attraction. It would be best to be centered and calm when breaking the ice and saying nice things to know what to say. Coming at them from a bitter, dramatic, or overly emotional place typically backfires.
Work through lingering hurt feelings from the breakup before reaching out. Find your confidence. Approach interactions knowing that you still care deeply yet can handle it if they’ve moved on.
Be casual initially, letting your ex know you’ve been thinking fondly about your time together. Test the waters before asking directly to get back into your life.
Lead with positivity and emotional stability to help them feel open to reconciling. Short and sweet texts let your ex see your growth since the split.
When you know what to say, you can subtly start laying the foundation to get your ex back fast potentially. Everything begins with sending those first kind messages to break the ice.
How to Tell Your Ex You Still Care
Tips for reaching out after a breakup
When wanting to get your ex back, timing and tone are everything. Don’t reach out immediately after the breakup when emotions are raw.
Give it a few weeks, or even months, for both of you to start missing what you had. Then, make casual contact, saying you’ve recently been reminiscing about the good times together. Keep things light at first when reaching out to an ex.
Send a simple “Hey, how are you doing?” text. If they respond positively, follow up with short and sweet messages letting him know you still care and would love to meet up to talk, no strings attached. The goal is to re-establish friendly communication, not bombard them.
How to make your ex feel special
Once you and your ex are talking again, even if you don’t get back together, you can make them feel wanted by reminding them of their positive qualities and impact on you.
Did they introduce you to new music that you still listen to? Bring that up. Thank them for supporting your dreams when no one else did.
Say things like, “You helped me get through an adamant time in my life” or “You made me want to be a better person.”
Share specific memories that highlight your ex’s good heart and the love he gave. Knowing the right words can rekindle your ex’s feelings and make him want you back.
Genuine compliments and expressions of gratitude help an ex recall what made the relationship work. By deliberately making him feel special, you plant the seeds that could lead to getting back together.
39 Sweet Things to Say to Your Ex
1. “I still love you and think about you all the time.”
This simple, straightforward message reveals your continued feelings for your ex. It’s non-demanding yet makes clear you still care deeply. This text lets them know the flame hasn’t gone out on your end.
2. “I regret breaking up and realize now that you are the best girlfriend/boyfriend I’ve ever had.”
Admitting regret over the breakup and reminding your ex how amazing they were as partners delivers a sweet ego boost. It emphasizes that you know how special the relationship was and haven’t found someone who measures up since.
3. “No one makes me laugh like you do.”
Laughter and playfulness are key ingredients for bonding and intimacy. You remind them of the easy compatibility you shared by highlighting how much joy and humor your ex brought to your life.
4. “You helped me become a better person, and I took that for granted. I’m sorry.”
This message sincerely acknowledges your ex’s positive impact – how they inspired your growth. Expressing regret for not valuing that entirely sends the message that you see now how meaningful their support was. A little appreciation goes a long way.
5. “I miss hanging out together and wish we could get some coffee to catch up.”
Instead of professing your undying love, suggesting a casual, low-stakes meetup like coffee shows consideration for uncertainty after the breakup.
It makes your ex feel respected while letting them know you’d love to reconnect in person as friends, at the very least.
6. “That shirt looks great on you. You have awesome style.”
Offering a genuine compliment on something like their fashion sense gives your ex a little confidence boost. It also shows you still notice and appreciate the little things about them.
7. “I wish I could turn back time and do things differently between us.”
This statement conveys regret over how things went wrong in the relationship, implying that you’d correct past mistakes if you had another chance. It shows maturity and Personal responsibility.
8. “I’m sorry for not making you a priority like you deserved.”
Sincerely acknowledging that you failed to treat your ex as the priority they deserved to be in the relationship demonstrates personal growth and accountability on your end while also serving as a genuine apology that openly recognizes they warranted better treatment and more validation from you.
9. “I’ll always cherish our memories together.”
Remembering meaningful moments, you reassured your ex that they and the relationship mattered. Even if you don’t reconcile, it affirms that the bond you had positively impacted your life.
10. “Is there any chance you’d consider giving our relationship another try?”
While risky, directly asking if your ex is open to rekindling things gets right to the point. It makes your intentions clear without pressure. Now, the ball is in their court to give a direct answer or continue the discussion.
11. “I totally understand if you’ve moved on, but I’ll always care about you.”
This message acknowledges your ex’s right to have moved forward but also affirms that your caring feelings remain, regardless of the status of your relationship. It’s respectful.
12. “I handled our breakup terribly and regret the way I acted.”
Owning up to poor behavior during the breakup shows humility, self-awareness, and emotional growth. It’s an indirect apology for the way you may have hurt them.
13. “You are one of the most thoughtful people I know.”
Since people want to feel valued in relationships for who they inherently are, highlighting your ex’s thoughtfulness as a core personality trait reminds them of their positive qualities.
14. “I took for granted how happy and comfortable I always felt around you.”
Honestly admitting that you failed to fully appreciate or be grateful for the special aspects of your connection—the little things your ex did or said that never was unable to lift your mood or bring you immense joy—conveys to them how profoundly and meaningfully the relationship resonated on an emotional level with you.
15. “Do you think we moved too fast to break up? Could we start over?”
If you feel the issues that ultimately led to the painful decision to split could have potentially been worked through with open communication and some additional devoted time and effort, suggest pressing reset by clearly and sincerely communicating your willingness and hope to wipe the slate clean and try again.
16. “I really miss snuggling and watching movies together.”
Reminding your ex about snuggling up together on the couch for movie nights or slow dancing in the kitchen taps into your most tender emotional memories as a couple, stirring intense feelings of nostalgia and longing for that comfortable physical closeness you always shared.
17. “You made me want to be the best version of myself.”
Telling your ex directly that they uniquely motivated and empowered you to grow into the best possible version of yourself is genuinely flattering praise.
It also subtly plants the idea that rekindling your romance could organically reignite that special inspirational spark between you.
18. “I wish I could redo our last date night. Can I make it up to you?”
Offer to plan a remake of your last date, communicate regret over how things ended, be optimistic about trying again, and be eager to recreate a wonderful memory with them.
19. “You inspire me to go after my dreams. I really admire your ambition.”
Giving your ex an uplifting compliment on their ambitious, aspirational nature and admirable inner drive suggests you still deeply appreciate and believe in their immense potential to continue achieving great personal goals and dreams. It is powerfully validating and reaffirming.
20. “I can’t stop thinking about the future we always talked about.”
Fondly reminding your ex about the many hopes, plans, and dreams for the future you often daydreamed about together implies that you have not entirely let go of that visionary image of a potential life you both imagined sharing one day. It tugs hard at the heartstrings.
21. “I know I wasn’t the easiest to deal with, but I’m working on myself.”
Openly acknowledging your flaws and shortcomings as a partner shows sincere accountability and ownership regarding your impact on the relationship’s problems while reassuring your ex that you care deeply about self-reflection and are actively committed to improving yourself.
22. “Our relationship showed me what real love is supposed to be like.”
Telling your ex that your relationship with them has shown you what true love is supposed to idealize the connection you shared as close, understanding, and mutually fulfilling in a way that no other intimacy in your life has.
23. “I’ll never forget our trip to the beach last summer. Best day ever!”
Fondly reminiscing about a special trip or experience you shared taps into nostalgia, allowing your ex to reflect on those magical moments that made your relationship so meaningful.
24. “I took you for granted and I’m so sorry. Please give me another chance.”
A straightforward, barebones apology that plainly admits your faults, takes direct accountability for relationship harms, and openly asks for one more shot indicates clear self-awareness that you were undoubtedly in the wrong and made regrettable mistakes. It comes across as sincere and vulnerable.
25. “You were always my biggest cheerleader. I could really use your encouragement right now.”
Reminding your ex that they always believed in you and supported your biggest dreams, even when no one else did, might inspire feelings of loyalty that lead them to want to comfort, encourage, and motivate you again during this challenging time.
26. “What we had was so special. Can we try again?”
Simply affirming the uniqueness of your bond and asking for another chance sends a hopeful, nostalgic message to your ex’s heart.
27. “You helped me become the best version of myself.”
Letting your ex know they positively impacted your life and growth is flattering. It also plants the idea you could reach your highest potential again together.
28. “I would love to grab coffee sometime and catch up, no strings attached.”
The casual coffee invite opens the door to an in-person talk where you can rediscover what you love about one another. No pressure.
29. “I miss movie nights with my best friend.”
Appealing to the friendship beneath your romantic connection and missing those cozy nights in is sentimental and sweet. It pulls those heartstrings.
30. “My life hasn’t been the same without my partner in crime.”
This pulls at the heartstrings by suggesting you feel a bit lost without them by your side. It hints you want to reunite to regain your sense of adventure and fun.
31. “I totally understand if you don’t want to get back together, but I’d love to be friends again someday.”
This thoughtful message openly respects whatever decision your ex has made emotionally in terms of entirely moving on, yet warmly leaves a sympathetic door wide open for the two of you to hopefully have the chance to one day reconnect and rediscover even just a cordial but caring friendship.
32. “I’m getting help for my anger issues now. I’m really sorry for the hurtful things I said.”
Taking accountability for hurtful behaviors and letting your ex know you’re working on self-improvement sends a positive signal.
33. “You motivated me more than anyone ever has. I could really use that inspiration again.”
Appealing to their ability to motivate you gives a stroke to their ego. It also suggests getting back together could reignite your ambition.
34. “I’ll always have a special place in my heart for you.”
This comforting universal truth genuinely conveys to your ex that you sincerely acknowledge and will forever cherish what your time together uniquely meant to each other, even if your separate life paths diverge permanently from this point forward.
35. “If you ever change your mind about us, I’m here.”
Be very clear in stating that you remain open and genuinely eager to discuss potentially reconciling if your ex has any change of heart or shift in feelings over time as they continue processing—it comes with no veiled pressure or expectations, just friendly reassurance.
36. “I know I made a terrible mistake. Can you please forgive me eventually?”
Bravely owning up to the pain and hurt you are responsible for inflicting shows a clear maturity and humility. However, gently appealing to your ex’s naturally kind heart leaves room for hope that sincere forgiveness could still grow over enough time and positive healing interactions together.
37. “Getting over you has been the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.”
Saying out loud how challenging it’s been to move forward without them validates that the relationship mattered deeply to you.
38. “I’d love the chance to show you I’ve changed, if you’ll let me.”
Putting forth a sincere offer to actively demonstrate the personal growth, improved maturity, and positive changes you’ve made in your life leaves the ball completely in your ex’s court to properly evaluate and come to their own decisions about potentially giving the romantic relationship another fair shot.
39. “My days just aren’t the same without my best friend to share them with.”
Tugging nostalgically on those loyal friendship heartstrings that still connect you implies you deeply miss and genuinely long for the steadfast companionship, easy rapport, unforgettable adventures, and genuinely good times you fondly remember sharing.
What If Your Ex Has Moved On
Tips for moving on after a breakup
Though painful, accepting the relationship has run its course is necessary for your well-being. Allow yourself to feel and process the grief fully, but don’t dwell there.
Lean on friends for extra support. Pour your energy into self-care through healthy outlets like exercise, hobbies, therapy, or journaling.
Open up to new possibilities when ready – you never know who you might meet. Stay active socially and say yes to new experiences.
Bit by bit, create a life that lights you up independently. The sting will subside, and you’ll rediscover your joyful, fulfilled self again.
Learning to let go
Trying to force someone to recommit when they’ve moved on causes more heartache. The saying goes, “If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it’s yours.” You have to give your ex the space to decide in their own time.
Focus on your healing and growth. Spend time doing things unrelated to the relationship that help you feel optimistic.
If needed, write an empowering letter of closure, then tuck away relics that keep reopening the wound. You pave the way to a hopeful future by letting go with grace and self-care.
The goal is to reach a place of acceptance and peace with however things unfold. You will be okay again with time. For now, be very gentle with yourself and know that this pain, too, shall pass.
Final Thoughts
Rekindling a romance with an ex can be scary, but saying thoughtful, kind things can help plant the seeds for reconciliation.
Use positive language and avoid being overly emotional or demanding. Remind your ex of the positive qualities you admire and apologize for past hurts.
Suggest a casual meet-up to catch up without strings attached. Sweet and thoughtful words just might spark the flames of reconciliation.
