Going on a break from your girlfriend can be tricky. You probably have a lot of mixed feelings and aren’t sure what to do. Should you text her? Would that make things better or worse? Those questions can be hard to answer.
This article covers different reasons to text or not text your girlfriend during a break. It also gives some tips to help you figure out the best choice. The goal is to help you avoid mistakes and consider your options during this tricky time.
Read the suggestions below with an open mind to decide the best path for your situation.
Reasons Why You Should Text Your Girlfriend During A Break
1. You Realize the Break Was a Mistake and You Want to Get Back Together
Even if you’re the one who asked for the break because you thought you needed space, you might realize it was a mistake. If taking this time apart makes you see that you want to reconnect and be together again, it’s reasonable to want to text her.
Let her know the break made you understand your feelings more clearly. Use texting to ask her to meet up and tell her you made a mistake asking for a break from the relationship.
But don’t demand she takes you back right away. Talk to a person to work through what led you to need a break in the first place.
2. You Miss Talking to Her and Just Want to Say Hi
It’s normal to miss your girlfriend while on a break. After all, you cared about each other and shared a bond. But think this through first before texting. Are you sure you want a casual chat? Or are you hoping texting will lead to reconciling about more profound issues?
Be honest with yourself. A simple text can be acceptable if you genuinely want to connect briefly and then go back to needing space apart. But don’t give false hope you want to get back together if you aren’t ready.
3. You Want to Meet Up to Discuss Resolving the Issues that Led to the Break
Another good reason to text your girlfriend during a break is if you hope to resolve the problems that caused you to take time apart. If you think communication could help save the relationship, suggest meeting to discuss things.
But don’t pressure her to meet up before she’s ready. For example, you could text saying, “I’ve been thinking and would like the chance to talk through some of the problems we were having. Let me know if you’d be interested in meeting up to see if we can resolve them.”
4. You Have an Important Life Update You Want Her to Know About
When you take a break from a relationship, it’s to figure things out and reflect. But sometimes, significant life updates happen unexpectedly during a break. If you get an exciting new job, have a health issue, or experience a family emergency, you might want to tell your girlfriend.
She probably still cares even if you’re disconnected and trying to decide what you want. Send a text to share the basics of your news without expecting an emotional talk. Say something like, “Thought you’d want to know that I’ve accepted a job offer in another state.
5. You Have a Question You Need to Ask or Get Answered to Gain Closure
If you have unanswered questions keeping you stuck as you try to process the relationship break, it can help to reach out. Before texting, consider whether a simple yes or no answer would give you closure.
Some questions like “I forgot to ask – can I pick up my stuff this weekend?” or “Were you ever happy with me or just pretending?” can be fair game. Pose your closure question, but don’t bombard her with texts demanding urgent responses.
6. You Want to Apologize for Mistakes You Made that Contributed to the Breakup
Making amends during time apart can sometimes help both people. If you misbehaved or made key relationship mistakes that led to issues, consider apologizing.
Send a text owning up to your poor choices and acknowledging her feelings. But avoid long apologies begging her to forgive you – focus on showing you’ve gained self-awareness without expectations.
You could text something like, “I’ve been reflecting and want to sincerely apologize for lashing out when we argued last month. I was wrong, and I understand now why that contributed to our issues.”
7. Birthday, Holiday or Other Important Event Is Coming Up You Used To Spend Together
If your girlfriend’s birthday, favorite holiday celebration, or other special event you spent together is approaching, you may want to text her.
Even during a break in a relationship, marking big days she expects can show you still care. Send a simple “Happy birthday! Hope you have a nice day.” This shows you remember without demanding quality time together.
But avoid adding intense emotional messages about missing her or your feelings unless she seems receptive.
8. You Want to Suggest Relationship Counseling or a Check-In Conversation
Trying relationship counseling or suggesting a chat to check where things stand can sometimes help couples who decide to take a break to think. If texting to propose a phone or video call to chat, be low pressure.
Make it clear you’re not forcing reconciliation before she’s ready. Instead, frame it as wanting to connect briefly to evaluate if there’s anything worth saving.
Say something like, “If you’re open to it, we could have a quick video chat to catch up and see if talking might help us understand things better during this breakup.”
9. You Still Love Her Deeply and Think You May Want to End Up Together
It’s often tempting halfway through a break to text your girlfriend that you miss her if you’ve realized you still love her deeply.
But pouring out all your feelings and hopes for the future before she has had time for self-reflection can backfire. She may not be on the same page yet.
Before professing your love, ask yourself honestly if the circumstances that caused your issues have changed. If nothing is different except missing her, wait until the break ends.
When you reconnect, you can explain you did a lot of thinking and want to make things work long-term if she’s open to giving it another honest try.
Reasons Not To Text Her During A Break
1. She Directly Asked for No Contact During This Time
If your girlfriend clearly stated that she wants no communication or contact during the break, you must respect that. She might not be able or ready to work through relationship issues yet.
Look back at the terms of communication she requested when she wanted to take a break or step back from the relationship.
No matter how much you want to reach out, don’t violate her boundaries while she needs time and space. Sending unwanted texts to discuss problems could end the relationship permanently. Accept that no contact is what she needs right now to process and heal.
2. You Don’t Know Yet If the Relationship Can or Should Be Repaired
In an unhealthy relationship, a break can be a trial separation to evaluate your suitability for each other long term. If major red flags or repeated toxic patterns caused the issues, you likely need more than a few days apart to judge whether things could get back on track healthily.
Don’t jump straight into problem-solving texts about compromises. Be honest that during this early break period, you may not have enough information or perspective to know if repair is realistic or wise.
3. The Issues Were Severe and Unlikely to Be Resolved Over Text
Some relationship problems that build resentments, like emotional abuse, addiction issues, chronic dishonesty, or infidelity, take time and likely therapy to work through.
Texting brief apologies or promises to change won’t magically resolve them overnight. If the reasons leading up to needing a break seem too profoundly rooted or complex for text chats or even usual talks to overcome, don’t try to force quick reconciliation.
Give yourself, your girlfriend, and the relationship sufficient breathing room to process the next steps rather than making declarations you can’t follow through on.
4. More Time is Needed for Perspective Before Making Decisions
Stepping back from a relationship is often about getting time and space to clear your head before evaluating your next moves.
If your judgment feels clouded by the swirling emotions of a recent blow-up fight, difficult let-downs, or gradual growing apart, avoid hasty texts you might regret. It can take weeks with a break from interaction before gaining enough self-awareness and perspective to make wise choices.
If you still feel outraged, confused, or heartsick, don’t pour all those feelings onto your girlfriend too soon when she may want a break. Be patient with yourself and reflect until you believe you can have a constructive discussion.
5. Your Emotions are Still Running Too High for a Constructive Conversation
Similarly, even if you desperately want to reconcile or make amends, don’t jump the gun if you sense you aren’t stable enough for a calm, mature dialogue. If a nasty confrontation triggered the break, you’re likely still nursing wounds undermining reasonable debate.
If one of you asked for a break, the other may feel too rejected right now to listen. Wait until the strongest hurt, frustration, resentment, or hopelessness you associate with the relationship issues simmers down before attempting any severe relationship analysis.
Let the time taken apart do its work to diffuse the intensity so when you do talk again, it can be productive.
Final Thoughts
If you reach out to your girlfriend during the break, be sincere and respect what she asks. Don’t have unrealistic expectations. A few texts can instantly get you back together or resolve issues overnight.
Sometimes, breaks are needed for the long-term health of the relationship. Other times, they are the painful first step towards eventually needing to move on with your life separately.
While apart, focus on the positive changes you can make for yourself. If you need help processing things, get advice from close friends who know your history as a couple. And give your girlfriend the space and time to think that she needs right now, even if that means seeing other people.
With patience and self-work, the path forward will become more apparent. You deserve to heal and be happy again, whether together or apart. Trust that time will give you the wisdom and clarity needed to make the best choice for your future.
