Have you ever felt trapped in a relationship that seems to be going nowhere? You care about him, but he sends mixed signals – not wanting commitment but not wanting you to date other guys. It’s confusing and unfair.
You may see some clear signs that while he doesn’t want a committed relationship, he doesn’t want anyone else to have you. So, you feel stuck in the middle – unsatisfied but afraid to lose him.
This article covers the 19 major signs to watch to understand where you stand, including whether he refuses to commit, interrogates you about other men, shows affection when he perceives a threat, etc. That way, you can decide what you want instead of waiting and hoping he changes his mind someday.
The article also shares tips on what to do when you spot these signs so you don’t waste time in an unfair situation. Let’s go through it!
19 Signs He Doesn’t Want Anyone Else To Have You
1. Gets jealous when you talk about male friends
You mention your guy friends, and he gets visibly nervous or angry. He wants to know why you hang out with them or what you discuss.
This kind of jealous reaction could be a sign he doesn’t want to commit, but he also fears losing you to someone new.
2. Enjoys intimacy but not much else with you
You have great physical chemistry, but that’s all between you. Outside the bedroom, he is uninterested in getting to know you or doing things together.
Maybe he treats you more like a convenient partner than a girlfriend. This hot-and-cold approach is unfair if you want more.
3. Told you directly he doesn’t want commitment
Believe him if he tells you he isn’t looking for commitment or anything serious with you. No matter how long you’ve been dating, his stance likely won’t change.
Don’t spend months or years waiting and hoping despite the clear messages he sent. You deserve someone as excited to commit as you are.
4. Tries hard to make you stay when you want out
When you try to break things off, he falls all over himself promising change and making an effort – temporarily.
He might say anything to avoid losing his placeholder girlfriend. But he will likely revert soon after the crisis passes. Don’t fall for panicked attempts to string you along. Move on and find someone who doesn’t play games.
5. Avoids “the talk” but asks if you see other men
He’s not interested in dating exclusively if he dodges those conversations. But then he wants to know if you’re seeing anyone else.
He’s simply keeping you on the hook with no intention to commit. These mixed signals are unfair mind games no one deserves.
6. Gets nervous/angry hearing about male friends
Any mention of other men provokes visible agitation and questioning from him about the specifics of those friendships, betraying his unrest with potential rivals despite his refusal to commit.
7. Says he’s afraid to be alone to make you stay
Though he insists that losing you terrifies him and dreads solitude, his behavior reveals the hollowness of those claims. He would offer the commitment you wish to if he genuinely cared so deeply.
More likely, he’s tossing out empty promises, giving you mixed signals, and saying what he thinks will keep you hanging on while he reaps your company’s benefits without concern for your happiness.
Don’t fall for transparent excuses or allow him to manipulate you when he is unwilling to meet your needs. You deserve someone truly invested who shows through their actions, not just hollow words, that they are as eager to commit as you are and willing to back it up with a real relationship.
8. Tries to convince you casual is better
His emphasis on the downsides of commitment conveys his lack of interest in a relationship despite arguments that casual intimacy is harmless, fun, or preferable.
Do not confuse his preferences with what will nurture you both over time. Know that your needs hold equal weight, regardless of his attempts to undermine them. Maintain conviction in discerning what you genuinely want.
9. Doesn’t understand why commitment matters to you
You try explaining why an official, committed relationship is important, but he doesn’t understand. If he cares about your feelings, he will listen and understand even if he doesn’t want to be exclusive right now.
He dismisses something you want so many shows; he’s not interested in getting to know you better or giving your needs a place in your life together.
10. Gives vague excuses about not knowing what he wants
He stonewalls behind a barricade of delay tactics when confronted with commitment, from needing self-improvement to unsure about the future.
Denial and deflection signal his unwillingness to reciprocate your needs. Refuse to linger in limping limbo, yearning for someone unwilling to articulate his desires, let alone honor yours.
11. Only attentive when he might lose you
He takes you for granted most days. Then, when he senses you might go out with someone else, he starts acting like you’re a queen.
He wants to meet up more, texts to check on you and asks to know everything happening in your life. But as soon as he’s sure he still has you, he stops making an effort again.
12. Only pays when he thinks you’re slipping away
On most dates, you split costs or cover your meal. But when he feels you pulling away, he insists on treating you.
Another sign a man is emotionally attached is bringing little gifts, too. But don’t be swayed – as soon as you seem fully interested again, he’ll likely return to taking you for granted.
13. Takes turns showing love
Your relationship seems to run hot and cold. When you try to show him love and appreciation, he pulls back. Then, when you stop pursuing him, he starts acting very interested and attentive again. This unhealthy pattern won’t lead to the long-term relationship or commitment you want.
14. Attentive until you love him again
When he senses you pulling away, he’ll want to meet up more and check in constantly. He’s trying to make you feel like a queen so you’ll stay interested. But as soon as he feels secure that you love him again, he stops making special efforts.
15. Only heroic when about to lose you
Out of nowhere, he starts doing thoughtful little things for you or making big romantic gestures. It seems totally out of character for someone who didn’t want a relationship.
Chances are, he caught a whiff that you might start seeing someone else, so now he’s on his best behavior. But it likely won’t last long term.
16. Reaches out after no contact
When you stop contacting him for a while, he inevitably breaks the silence first. He wants to keep seeing you and know everything that’s been going on.
He might act worried you’ve met someone new. He disappears until he feels like he might lose you and then decides he needs you again.
17. Dates around but won’t let you
He clarifies that your relationship is casual so that he can date around. But if you ever mention a new guy you might want to date, he flips out.
He doesn’t want you dating someone else even though he likely won’t commit. It’s unfair for him to keep you from exploring other options while he plays the field. Don’t tolerate possessiveness from someone unwilling to get serious.
18. Hurts you more the more you love him
The more time, energy, and love you invest, the more he withdraws and takes you for granted. It’s like he gets satisfaction from knowing you care so much while he feels free to do the bare minimum.
This imbalance often happens when one person doesn’t want a relationship but strings the other person along. Don’t let him benefit from your love without reciprocity.
19. Says he has everything he wants
Unbelievably, he says your current dynamic is perfect, and he has all he needs. He might not know how unhappy you are or doesn’t care. Either way, it’s a clear sign he doesn’t want anything to change.
If that’s the case, you deserve better than settling for crumbs when you want a genuine partnership. Don’t waste time hoping he changes his mind.
What To Do When He Wants To Keep You For Only Himself Without Commitment
See the signs – unfair relationship
Once you see these sure signs he doesn’t want a commitment but also doesn’t want anyone else dating you, it should be clear you’re in an unfair situation.
A man who doesn’t want a relationship but obsessively tracks who you’re talking to and dating is bad news. Don’t tolerate possessiveness from someone unwilling to commit.
Set standards and boundaries
Know what you want in a relationship and what your deal breakers are. Then, set boundaries and stand firm. Make it clear verbal abuse, controlling behavior, or anything that makes you feel unhappy won’t be tolerated. You teach people how to treat you – don’t accept less than you deserve.
Don’t wait around hoping he’ll change
It’s easy to make excuses, and I hope his reluctance to commit will shift someday. But months or years could pass you by while his stance stays the same.
Don’t let wishful thinking about who he might become prevent you from facing who he is right now. His past relationship patterns are the best predictor of his future behavior.
Be ready to walk away
If you give him chances to step up but he continues showing signs he doesn’t want commitment, be ready to walk away. You deserve someone as eager to commit as you are.
Don’t let wishful thinking make you stick around accepting crumbs of affection and ambiguity about the future. Know your worth.
Date others if you want
You don’t need his permission. If you want to date around, too, while he drags his feet, go for it. A man who doesn’t know what he wants but expects you to stay loyal has a double standard. See if jealousy provokes him to act right or shows you it’s time to move on.
Don’t let him control you
A man who doesn’t want a real relationship but demands to know who you’re talking to or dating and interrogates you about the men in your life is waving red flags.
His jealousy and need to control your activities show he’s insecure despite acting disinterested in commitment on the surface. His double standards and possessiveness reveal how little he truly cares about your needs.
This controlling behavior is unlikely to improve if you tolerate it. Stand up for yourself, set clear boundaries around trust and autonomy, and don’t accept manipulation tactics or restrictions from someone unwilling to commit fully. You deserve a relationship where your freedom and individuality are respected, not questioned or constrained.
Final Thoughts
You deserve to feel valued, respected and cared for in a relationship. If you’re putting in more effort than he is or tolerating controlling behaviors, it’s unfair.
Don’t waste months or years stuck in relationship limbo, hoping he changes his stance someday. Instead, take control, know your self-worth, clearly communicate what you want, and walk away if he continues showing signs of stringing you along.
There are men out there excited for commitment and partnership who will treat you how you deserve. Free yourself to find one who wants to build a happy future together, not keep you dangling in the present. Start putting yourself and your happiness first – you hold the power!
